Love this!! Parenting is hard and the one thing I’m unabashedly proud of in that realm is helping my kids become readers.
At a Christmas party recently, I was having a conversation about recently read books and another woman, listening, said “does anyone actually read anymore?” Lol. Yes! Happy to be that dying breed of weirdo.
I love the acknowledgement that to read, you basically watch no TV! I hardly ever watch TV because there are only so many hours in the day - I think people often misassume that TV is a non negotiable hobby in everyone’s household 😂 I’d much rather read. I’m never up to date on what’s hot on TV - I’ve still not watched Nobody Wants This!!!!
Haha exactly! What I didn’t mention about Nobody Wants This is that I watched it while walking on the treadmill because, as you mentioned, there are only so many hours in the day! I haven’t watched a popular show in literal years either. This one was good though, I recommend!!!
I am totally of the persuasion that as parents we need to allow our kids to grow up and be exactly who they are, without pushing them or influencing them to meet whatever expectations we as parents may have for them.
With one exception: READING. I knew that the one gift that I could give my only child was help her become a reader and thus ensure she would have access to friends and wisdom for the rest of her life. I do not miss the years of reading the same book over and over and over again but we allowed it because we knew that as long as we keep reading, her taste will evolve. She is now 7 and a lean, mean, reading machine and I am just so so happy for her.
In addition to everything else you've shared, we also do "Family Book Club" at night.... where we all go to her room and just read our books together for 20-30 minutes before she goes to sleep. It's rebranded bedtime and it's just the coziest time we spend together as a family.
I am obsessed with Family Book Club! That is a dream. We’ve tried all reading together at night but our four-year-old boy gets too squirrelly and it doesn’t work. Right now my 7-yo daughter and I are reading Harry Potter 🤓.
I’ve never thought about it that way but I agree so much — reading is a non-negotiable. It’s so important. Everything else is up to them. Love that!
The best part about reading HP with my daughter is seeing her grasp the beauty of story. She’s so excited every night and when we leave on a cliffhanger she freaks out. It’s truly magical. ✨
I’m reading it to her, which I think about often and wonder if I should make her read it to me. But it’s so special as-is and I don’t want to fuck it up! She reads plenty. She brings books in the car sometimes 😭😭😭
I love your post! My mom was an avid reader, whenever we looked for her, we found her reading. It really is a gift to pass on to your kids, so much so that I actually feel sorry for people who don’t read. - ha!
Well, my manuscript-in-progress is all about how childhood has changed due to societal and educational shifts. And the major way we help kids hold on to creativity and independence is being aware of societal norms as parents, and pushing back when we question those norms. You’re aware that you’re raising your kids outside the norm in regard to reading, which is awesome. And why I see you as a rebel. Keep pushing back!
I can relate with my two. I’ve finally gotten to wedding people and it’s so funny and also makes me feel so un-funny 😂 it’s good for writers to recognize their limitations lol
My reading plummeted in the weeks my first kid was born, but a reader friend about two months behind me pregnancy-wise had lent me several books and I didn’t want to break her heart admitting that I was having trouble finding the time to read. So I learned to leave piles of clean baby clothes on the couch and attend to my book. I proudly returned her books - all read - before her own kid was born.
Laura Vanderkam wrote/said that going to bed early is how parents of small children sleep in. I think you and she have it right. I can get in hours of reading time if I go to bed when my kids do. Now that my kids are older, sometimes I’ve been known to suspend my parenting obligations on Fridays and just read from early evening on. Somehow we all keep going - and I feel like I’ve had a little vacation.
Oh how I love your story about returning those books, all read! I’ve read Laura Vanderkam but haven’t heard that about how parents sleep in. It’s genius! And let me just say, as a mom, you deserve that Friday night vacation! Make it a weekly thing 🤗
Wonderful post, Kolina! I use my son's love of New Yorker covers to justify my continued print subscription. I stopped drinking when I had kids so now I have more time and focus.
I switched to StoryGraph last year. You can import all your GoodReads books somewhat easily although there were some duplicates. SG is really just a tracker, which is what I wanted last year. I don't read the the Ai generated summaries or recommendations. I started on BookWyrm social which is supposed to have more of the GR social aspect than SG without the Amazon ownership. I also imported my SG csv list but I haven't done much, I'm not sure how social I need to get.
I just checked out Sandwich by Catherine Newman and I'm hoping to find some hope to feel good about.
I have held on to the print NY’er sub for a looooong time, and I think it’s time to let it go, but it’s hard. I could spend the next three years reading old ones I haven’t read, but my aspirational ego is reluctant to give it up.
my husband and I came from different family backgrounds towards reading. Every member of our house growing up has always been reading including my parents and grandparents. While my husband’s, they never open a book in their house except for school. I also told him about Patti Smith’s story about her mother who was always reading till late night. Patti herself was so curious about why these books are keeping her mother late at night that she decided to read them herself. And that is how she got into reading. Those things started the conversation of how we want to cultivate the habit of reading to our future kids.
This is beautiful. I didn’t know that about Patti Smith and I love it! Her mom didn’t preach about reading, she just read so much that it got Patti curious. Incredible. It’s great you and your husband are talking about that too, pre-kids! I’m impressed! 🩷
The year after I had my first baby was the time when I finally found audiobooks! Being an avid reader has always been such a huge part of my identity, and postpartum I was so lost and frustrated with the lack of intellectual stimulation in my life. I don’t think I had ever listened to an audiobook (I was always into podcasts) and after my first one, I finally felt like I was able to reclaim a little piece of myself. Now I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old, and audiobooks are probably 50% of my reading life! I’ve had to re-frame my commute to work and tedious errands into introvert re-charge time, and my hack is to have an AirPod in my ear and listen to a book. It’s been so great for my mental health!
Immediately subscribed because I feel like (other than the comment about the curls, my son is bald with maybe two strands of red hair, unexplainably NOT from my Italian side?) I could have written this myself. Leading up to his birth, everyone was telling me to read as much as I can because I will never have time after he's here. It is absolutely by design! I am also dreading the day when he needs a phone...he is almost 5 months old so maybe I'm a bit early with the dread here but the pull is so real. Thank you for sharing this! I feel so seen.
Love this! I def read a lot of great books with my son as he was growing up. Like the Underland Chronicles series by Suzanne Collins (which I think she wrote before the Hunger Games). Currently reading "Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead," which is fabulous. The turns it takes! I'm in awe of how the narrator drips out information about herself (we know she's into astrology long before we know she was a bridge engineer and a teacher). I could gush on for pages. Before that, "James," which is EVERYthing.
I’ve been thinking about this post. This almost seems too obvious to comment on, but a major selling point of reading as a *thing* is how it transports us from our own world/lives to those of someone else, etc. One feature about being a parent of young kids is that is can be (okay, 100% is) - especially for people who are breastfeeding - a physically restrictive time. We have to be awake and in spaces we might not choose to be (ehem, indoor bounce places). Books are the great loophole! Am I supervising my kids in a hotel room while my husband plays a show, OR am I on the first botany expedition through The Grand Canyon in 1938? Both!
Love this!! Parenting is hard and the one thing I’m unabashedly proud of in that realm is helping my kids become readers.
At a Christmas party recently, I was having a conversation about recently read books and another woman, listening, said “does anyone actually read anymore?” Lol. Yes! Happy to be that dying breed of weirdo.
OH MY GOD, she didn’t actually say that??? We’re not a dying breed. We’re teaching our kids to do it too!
In something like 2011 someone said to me, “book clubs are still a thing?!” Yes, yes they are.
I love the acknowledgement that to read, you basically watch no TV! I hardly ever watch TV because there are only so many hours in the day - I think people often misassume that TV is a non negotiable hobby in everyone’s household 😂 I’d much rather read. I’m never up to date on what’s hot on TV - I’ve still not watched Nobody Wants This!!!!
Haha exactly! What I didn’t mention about Nobody Wants This is that I watched it while walking on the treadmill because, as you mentioned, there are only so many hours in the day! I haven’t watched a popular show in literal years either. This one was good though, I recommend!!!
Haha I love it! Noted that this TV is worth my time!
It really is!
I am totally of the persuasion that as parents we need to allow our kids to grow up and be exactly who they are, without pushing them or influencing them to meet whatever expectations we as parents may have for them.
With one exception: READING. I knew that the one gift that I could give my only child was help her become a reader and thus ensure she would have access to friends and wisdom for the rest of her life. I do not miss the years of reading the same book over and over and over again but we allowed it because we knew that as long as we keep reading, her taste will evolve. She is now 7 and a lean, mean, reading machine and I am just so so happy for her.
In addition to everything else you've shared, we also do "Family Book Club" at night.... where we all go to her room and just read our books together for 20-30 minutes before she goes to sleep. It's rebranded bedtime and it's just the coziest time we spend together as a family.
I am obsessed with Family Book Club! That is a dream. We’ve tried all reading together at night but our four-year-old boy gets too squirrelly and it doesn’t work. Right now my 7-yo daughter and I are reading Harry Potter 🤓.
I’ve never thought about it that way but I agree so much — reading is a non-negotiable. It’s so important. Everything else is up to them. Love that!
The best part about reading HP with my daughter is seeing her grasp the beauty of story. She’s so excited every night and when we leave on a cliffhanger she freaks out. It’s truly magical. ✨
4 is still too young. We started Book Club last year... she was at least 6 or 6.5...
Is your 7 year old reading HP or you are reading to her?! That's a BIG book!!! So exciting!
I’m reading it to her, which I think about often and wonder if I should make her read it to me. But it’s so special as-is and I don’t want to fuck it up! She reads plenty. She brings books in the car sometimes 😭😭😭
OMG… totally read it to her. I can tell that we don’t have much time of us reading to them left. Keep it going as long as you can. It’s the sweetest.
Ugh SO TRUE
P.S. How I gasped when I saw you were reading Prep. I love Curtis Sittenfeld SO MUCH.
YES! This is only my second Curtis book. It is divine. I love a campus novel SO MUCH!
She is perfect.
I love your post! My mom was an avid reader, whenever we looked for her, we found her reading. It really is a gift to pass on to your kids, so much so that I actually feel sorry for people who don’t read. - ha!
Ha! Totally!! That’s so great you grew up with that influence. I didn’t, so I must have picked it up in school. I’m grateful!
You are my kind of rebel! It’s sooo great that your kids see you reading so much. It’s a gift to them. 💕
On second thought — reading shouldn’t be rebellious! 😫
Well, my manuscript-in-progress is all about how childhood has changed due to societal and educational shifts. And the major way we help kids hold on to creativity and independence is being aware of societal norms as parents, and pushing back when we question those norms. You’re aware that you’re raising your kids outside the norm in regard to reading, which is awesome. And why I see you as a rebel. Keep pushing back!
Amazing to think of that as a rebellious move! Thank you my friend! 🩷
I can relate with my two. I’ve finally gotten to wedding people and it’s so funny and also makes me feel so un-funny 😂 it’s good for writers to recognize their limitations lol
Hahah yes that book is hilarious! I also felt un-funny 🤣🤣
You’ve literally described by life from the Italian curls to the early mornings with my toddler watching TV while I read next to him on the couch 🥹
Twins!!! I love it so much 🥹
My reading plummeted in the weeks my first kid was born, but a reader friend about two months behind me pregnancy-wise had lent me several books and I didn’t want to break her heart admitting that I was having trouble finding the time to read. So I learned to leave piles of clean baby clothes on the couch and attend to my book. I proudly returned her books - all read - before her own kid was born.
Laura Vanderkam wrote/said that going to bed early is how parents of small children sleep in. I think you and she have it right. I can get in hours of reading time if I go to bed when my kids do. Now that my kids are older, sometimes I’ve been known to suspend my parenting obligations on Fridays and just read from early evening on. Somehow we all keep going - and I feel like I’ve had a little vacation.
Oh how I love your story about returning those books, all read! I’ve read Laura Vanderkam but haven’t heard that about how parents sleep in. It’s genius! And let me just say, as a mom, you deserve that Friday night vacation! Make it a weekly thing 🤗
Wonderful post, Kolina! I use my son's love of New Yorker covers to justify my continued print subscription. I stopped drinking when I had kids so now I have more time and focus.
I switched to StoryGraph last year. You can import all your GoodReads books somewhat easily although there were some duplicates. SG is really just a tracker, which is what I wanted last year. I don't read the the Ai generated summaries or recommendations. I started on BookWyrm social which is supposed to have more of the GR social aspect than SG without the Amazon ownership. I also imported my SG csv list but I haven't done much, I'm not sure how social I need to get.
I just checked out Sandwich by Catherine Newman and I'm hoping to find some hope to feel good about.
Oh wow, you know your book app stuff! I think I’ll make the switch to StoryGraph. It’s just a matter of doing it.
I loved sandwich. I’d be curious to know how a man perceives the story! Would love an update when you’re done.
And bravo for quitting drinking 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. My husband quit shortly after we had kids, too. It gifts us a LOT of time!
I have held on to the print NY’er sub for a looooong time, and I think it’s time to let it go, but it’s hard. I could spend the next three years reading old ones I haven’t read, but my aspirational ego is reluctant to give it up.
I listen to The Writer’s Voice, Poetry, and Fiction podcasts so I stay with it and I am picky about the non-fiction.
my husband and I came from different family backgrounds towards reading. Every member of our house growing up has always been reading including my parents and grandparents. While my husband’s, they never open a book in their house except for school. I also told him about Patti Smith’s story about her mother who was always reading till late night. Patti herself was so curious about why these books are keeping her mother late at night that she decided to read them herself. And that is how she got into reading. Those things started the conversation of how we want to cultivate the habit of reading to our future kids.
This is beautiful. I didn’t know that about Patti Smith and I love it! Her mom didn’t preach about reading, she just read so much that it got Patti curious. Incredible. It’s great you and your husband are talking about that too, pre-kids! I’m impressed! 🩷
The year after I had my first baby was the time when I finally found audiobooks! Being an avid reader has always been such a huge part of my identity, and postpartum I was so lost and frustrated with the lack of intellectual stimulation in my life. I don’t think I had ever listened to an audiobook (I was always into podcasts) and after my first one, I finally felt like I was able to reclaim a little piece of myself. Now I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old, and audiobooks are probably 50% of my reading life! I’ve had to re-frame my commute to work and tedious errands into introvert re-charge time, and my hack is to have an AirPod in my ear and listen to a book. It’s been so great for my mental health!
Immediately subscribed because I feel like (other than the comment about the curls, my son is bald with maybe two strands of red hair, unexplainably NOT from my Italian side?) I could have written this myself. Leading up to his birth, everyone was telling me to read as much as I can because I will never have time after he's here. It is absolutely by design! I am also dreading the day when he needs a phone...he is almost 5 months old so maybe I'm a bit early with the dread here but the pull is so real. Thank you for sharing this! I feel so seen.
Love this! I def read a lot of great books with my son as he was growing up. Like the Underland Chronicles series by Suzanne Collins (which I think she wrote before the Hunger Games). Currently reading "Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead," which is fabulous. The turns it takes! I'm in awe of how the narrator drips out information about herself (we know she's into astrology long before we know she was a bridge engineer and a teacher). I could gush on for pages. Before that, "James," which is EVERYthing.
I’ve been thinking about this post. This almost seems too obvious to comment on, but a major selling point of reading as a *thing* is how it transports us from our own world/lives to those of someone else, etc. One feature about being a parent of young kids is that is can be (okay, 100% is) - especially for people who are breastfeeding - a physically restrictive time. We have to be awake and in spaces we might not choose to be (ehem, indoor bounce places). Books are the great loophole! Am I supervising my kids in a hotel room while my husband plays a show, OR am I on the first botany expedition through The Grand Canyon in 1938? Both!