I don't read so much in spite of having young kids; I read so much BECAUSE I have young kids
It's time to stop blaming kids for not reading as much as you'd like
There are a couple comments I hear over and over and over and over. One is about my son’s curls and the other is about how much I read. And you have two young kids!
It’s time to clear that up: the curls come from my Italian side.
But seriously — I don’t read so much in spite of having two young kids; I read as much as I do because of them.
My children are, blessedly, pre-phone age. I dread the day their phones infiltrate our home because I know what it’s like to feel the pull of my phone when it’s not by me. My magnetism to it is so strong that sometimes when I go somewhere, I’ll leave my phone at home just so I don’t have to think about it. I detest this feeling and I am relieved every time I think about how my kids don’t experience it yet.
I don’t know much about managing my addiction to my phone, but I do know it’s important to model behavior for my children. I get it wrong a lot. I will respond to an unimportant text from my bff instead of address my child, who is pulling at my sweater. I know that’s wrong but I will do it occasionally. I am human!
But what I know I get right is how often my kids see me with a book.
It’s early morning and my son is watching PBS Kids on the television and I’m reading a book on the couch beside him. It’s after bedtime and a kid needs something and they find me in bed, not on my phone, but with a book. We are on a road trip and they need a snack and I put down my book to help them.
They see me with my phone a lot but they see me with books more, and I am proud of this.
It’s important to note that this happens by design.
I’ve always been a big reader, but since having kids, my reading has increased immensely. I have been participating in the Goodreads Reading Challenges since 2017, and looking through those shows me my annual reading has gone from 25 books to 40 books to, so far this year, 61 books.1
I have read more this year than I have in my entire life — and I have two young kids. So how do I do it? By a bunch of natural (to me) habits.
Early to bed
To start, by the time I get my kids down, I am ready to retreat to my bed. Which means that on a normal night, I’ll be in bed with a book by 8:00. Sometimes it’ll be closer to 8:30 or maybe — maybe — 9:00, but having kids has assured that I am home most evenings, and if my kids are asleep, I am likely in bed reading.
Pre-kids, I wouldn’t necessarily be home at 8:00 nightly. This is when I do the bulk of my reading, and I can thank my children for it.
Early to rise
Not everyone will relate to or approve of this, but I’m sharing it anyway: when my youngest gets me up early in the morning, I feed him Honey Nut Cheerios, then let him watch PBS kids on TV. During that time, I cuddle on the couch with him and read my book. Drinking coffee and reading a book and cuddling with your favorite person is a beautiful and gentle way to begin the day.
No to Netflix
It’s not that the TV is never on in our house. I mentioned above that my kids watch PBS Kids (or something learnable) in the mornings, and they watch in the evenings some nights, too. But I rarely watch TV.2 I mostly just don’t want to. I’m supposed to watch a show as research for a book I’m working on and I have yet to bring myself to do it. It’s not even that I prioritize reading over watching TV, it has just become so ingrained into my daily habits that book over TV is not a choice. It’s just what happens.
Again, I can attribute this lack of television to my kids. Before they were born, my husband and I would watch shows together. But as they grew, our joint TV-watching time disintegrated and our children took over. And by the time they’re in bed, when many couples might watch a show together, I’m almost always in bed reading.
This is the way I like it; this is the way I’ve designed it.
So no, I don’t read so much in spite of having two young children. I read so much because of them, and I’m grateful to them for it.
What are you reading? Also, I keep thinking about making the move from Goodreads to StoryGraph. Who’s got opinions for me?
What I’m reading: Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld
Love,
When you purchase books through my links, you support Words on Words (I get credits for more books) and an indie bookstore of your choice at no additional cost to you.
Two of the books are Claire Keegan stories, which are more like chapters than entire books, but I counted them anyway because I like to know when I read what.
I never watch TV, except this week when I watched Nobody Wants This. It dug into my reading time in a noticeable way, but I enjoyed the series so much and really look forward to season two.
Love this!! Parenting is hard and the one thing I’m unabashedly proud of in that realm is helping my kids become readers.
At a Christmas party recently, I was having a conversation about recently read books and another woman, listening, said “does anyone actually read anymore?” Lol. Yes! Happy to be that dying breed of weirdo.
I love the acknowledgement that to read, you basically watch no TV! I hardly ever watch TV because there are only so many hours in the day - I think people often misassume that TV is a non negotiable hobby in everyone’s household 😂 I’d much rather read. I’m never up to date on what’s hot on TV - I’ve still not watched Nobody Wants This!!!!