14 Comments

This is great insight. It feels increasingly true as I get older and wiser and better at giving attention to what matters most.

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Absolutely! It’s easy to fall into a trap, but I just need to remind myself that everything I do is a sacrifice and I better really want to be doing it, because if not, I could be doing something I actually want to do — like read or write, etc.

Have you read the book? My husband picked it up last night and it’s already kind of rocking his world!

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I’ve added it to my list!

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Amazing. Lmk your thoughts once you’re done!

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Time to switch books on the nightstand!! This is in align with my 2024 pledge: don’t finish it (waste time on it) if it isn’t completely engaging to me. Works for books and streaming services!

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YES Diane! I love that pledge and I’ve been unknowingly following it. Let me know if you read it!

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Such a wise post, Kolina. Thank you for this! I remember my brother (who is much older) once telling me when I was a little girl, "You can do anything, but you can't do everything." That really stuck with me! And also makes me feel better about my messy house. :)

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I love that so much. We have to choose the handful of things that are important to us -- like writing novels! Reading books! etc -- and be okay with the fact that we have messy houses. It made me feel better too!

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Very thought provoking, especially at my age

Thank you.

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Of course! It's an interesting book. Worth the time it takes to read it!

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I think I need to read this.

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YES! Let me know if you do!

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I appreciate your thoughts and reflections on time (and how much/little of it we have). Due to some strong influences in my early years, for a long time I harbored a deep fear of "wasting time" and felt like I had to make use of every minute. It was connected to concepts of worth and value; I believed that if I wasn't using my time for things of value, it meant I was not of value.

It has taken a long time to realize that doing "nothing" can also be valuable, that I (and those in my life) don't always have to be producing or doing. That maybe the best thing to do at any given moment is sit outside for a few minutes and watch clouds drift by.

At the same time, understanding that our weeks on earth are limited can help to refine focus. Instead of washing the dishes right after dinner, a better use would be going for a walk with my husband. Instead of multitasking during a phone call with a friend, it's giving my full attention to that conversation.

Lastly, turning 40 (nearly two years ago now!) opened my eyes to the thought that I've probably done more living on earth than I have living left. It made me more aware that, if there are things I want to accomplish, I need to make those things my focus. I've been writing here and there for 15 years now, but still haven't finished/published a full-length manuscript. So, what am I waiting for?

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Hi Bonita! This is such an inspiring note. I'm really glad you have come to separate your own value from the value of what you produce. That must have been so difficult while you were young!

I adore your thoughts on how valuable doing nothing can be, like watching clouds drift by. Doing nothing doesn't feel productive, but if it's allowing you space to rest and to notice, that is productive to me.

I can't speak to what you're waiting for re: the full-length manuscript, but I can speak to how difficult it is! It requires SO much time, SO much effort. And when there are after-dinner walks to take with your husband, torturing yourself (that's what it feels like to me, anyway) trying to write can be a really challenging choice to make!

I have faith in what you'll do with the rest of your years. Dig up that manuscript -- even if you just get one sentence down, you will feel productive.

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