I think it’s wild that 40 is considered middle age! It seems way too young to me. I’d say 51 is also middle age. I’m not looking forward to that speeding up situation. Time already moves too fast!
In 2021 when I started writing IYSTIMFY, Dayna was my age (37) and a friend in my writing group said make her 39… she was right because being right on the cusp of the next decade brings up a lot of feelings and regret. I’m launching the book at 40. I could think and talk about aging all day—it’s the most interesting subject!
I just turned 40 and while I technically know I'm middle aged I still can't feel it
One thing I've noticed too is that we don't have that many books with women who are around 40 as the main characters (outside domestic thrillers maybe)
Being 38.5, childless, and relatively young-acting but soon moving into a position of authority at work I find myself constantly confused about how I should behave, what I should wear, how I talk... they say you stop caring what others think the older you get but I have to admit I'm having a small identity crisis - but in a growth way not a fearful way so we're fine it's fine right??? I struggle with young protagonists but don't relate to the motherhood stories yet, so I'm just out here trying to relate to whatever weird stories I can get. I just finished Sour Cherry, and it was way impressive.
We’re fine it’s fine! You’ll do GREAT in your new position of authority. I can imagine it’s so challenging being our age (well I’m six months older!) and not having children yet and everyone asking when it’ll happen or why it won’t. Ugh I’m frustrated for you 🤣
Have you read Sorrow & Bliss? I just finished it last night. She’s 39 and turns 40 at the end. Childless, though that’s a whole thing in the book. It’s just such an interesting reflective time!
I love your story about realising you were the middle aged neighbours! there seems to be a lack of protagonists in the 45+ space which is why I found All Fours such a refreshing read.
I haven’t read this book, but definitely moved it up my TBR after reading your thoughts.
On the cusp of 40 myself, this is so relatable! I felt a little of this vibe from Phoebe of The Wedding People, although I’m not sure how old she is, maybe a tad younger.
Will definitely be keeping my eye out for more middle-aged protagonists. (And for a term other than middle aged!)
My current WIP features a late 30s protagonist and I kind of love that this would have been old to a younger me. Age is this tricky thing that doesn't really register for me now in my lived experience. I remember having an "over the hill" party for my dad, and now when I turn 40, I think I'll be mostly the same person I was in my 20s. Just, less of a shithead I hope.
All of which is to say, I also really like to see late 30s characters in stories that are going through major life transitions, and still have so much future ahead of them. Because that's real.
It’s so real and it’s so interesting. It could be because of my near-40 age, but I’m much more interested in what someone in their late 30s is up to because again, the stakes are higher. The clock is ticking.
I remember when my mom turned 30. Isn’t that wild? 30! Now 30 is like a spring chicken to me. It’s all real and I am so here for books with middle aged protagonists!
If 39 is middle aged, what is 51? It is older by 12 years that felt like 4.5 years.
After 40, the ride speeds up exponentially. 63 is here in 2 “felt” years from now.
Sigh…
I think it’s wild that 40 is considered middle age! It seems way too young to me. I’d say 51 is also middle age. I’m not looking forward to that speeding up situation. Time already moves too fast!
In 2021 when I started writing IYSTIMFY, Dayna was my age (37) and a friend in my writing group said make her 39… she was right because being right on the cusp of the next decade brings up a lot of feelings and regret. I’m launching the book at 40. I could think and talk about aging all day—it’s the most interesting subject!
YES! That’s exactly it — it’s such an interesting age. Good call on your friend’s part. Dayna’s trajectory would feel different if she had been 37.
39 seems so young to me now….enjoy it!
I will, thanks so much!
I just turned 40 and while I technically know I'm middle aged I still can't feel it
One thing I've noticed too is that we don't have that many books with women who are around 40 as the main characters (outside domestic thrillers maybe)
Right because 40 does not feel middle age! I still question whether it really is.
it’s so true, there are few books with protagonists aged 40. It’s either 20, 30, or like 45. I’m determined to change that 🤓
When I do the math, I know it is, but like I still don't feel like I'm an adult adult 😅
Bahahah same girl same
I never really felt middle-aged until 48 or so. The only problem with that is you hit “older” quicker after that.
For sure. Can’t be helped I guess! But I do think what’s “old” is trending older now. Like 50 is young and sprightly to me!
Being 38.5, childless, and relatively young-acting but soon moving into a position of authority at work I find myself constantly confused about how I should behave, what I should wear, how I talk... they say you stop caring what others think the older you get but I have to admit I'm having a small identity crisis - but in a growth way not a fearful way so we're fine it's fine right??? I struggle with young protagonists but don't relate to the motherhood stories yet, so I'm just out here trying to relate to whatever weird stories I can get. I just finished Sour Cherry, and it was way impressive.
We’re fine it’s fine! You’ll do GREAT in your new position of authority. I can imagine it’s so challenging being our age (well I’m six months older!) and not having children yet and everyone asking when it’ll happen or why it won’t. Ugh I’m frustrated for you 🤣
Have you read Sorrow & Bliss? I just finished it last night. She’s 39 and turns 40 at the end. Childless, though that’s a whole thing in the book. It’s just such an interesting reflective time!
I havent read it, I tried the audio and couldn't do it so i need to get my hands on a print copy!!!
Yeah try the print copy! I loved it soooo much.
I love your story about realising you were the middle aged neighbours! there seems to be a lack of protagonists in the 45+ space which is why I found All Fours such a refreshing read.
I haven’t read this book, but definitely moved it up my TBR after reading your thoughts.
Haha I was like, wait a minute! It’s me!
I found All Fours refreshing too. We definitely need more 45+ characters! Though that thread about 50+ that Abra posted has so many recommendations!
I can’t remember seeing that thread so please do tag me if you come across is again!
I shared it in this post! At the very bottom. I’ll go to her post and tag you too 😝
Found it!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 It’s so good
Happy Birthday! I’m 39 today, cheers to living like a protagonist! This was the perfect read for today.
Omg! Happy birthday! We are basically birthday twins!!! 🎉🎉🎉
On the cusp of 40 myself, this is so relatable! I felt a little of this vibe from Phoebe of The Wedding People, although I’m not sure how old she is, maybe a tad younger.
Will definitely be keeping my eye out for more middle-aged protagonists. (And for a term other than middle aged!)
Also you’re so right, we need a new term. I don’t plan to die at 80 thank you very much!
Yes, Phoebe! And Martha from Sorrow & Bliss!
My current WIP features a late 30s protagonist and I kind of love that this would have been old to a younger me. Age is this tricky thing that doesn't really register for me now in my lived experience. I remember having an "over the hill" party for my dad, and now when I turn 40, I think I'll be mostly the same person I was in my 20s. Just, less of a shithead I hope.
All of which is to say, I also really like to see late 30s characters in stories that are going through major life transitions, and still have so much future ahead of them. Because that's real.
It’s so real and it’s so interesting. It could be because of my near-40 age, but I’m much more interested in what someone in their late 30s is up to because again, the stakes are higher. The clock is ticking.
I remember when my mom turned 30. Isn’t that wild? 30! Now 30 is like a spring chicken to me. It’s all real and I am so here for books with middle aged protagonists!